I want to be a more charitable person. I guess I think about it, and maybe what I lack is follow through.
This last week has been absolutely horrible. After going back to the doctor to have all my bandages removed, my bellybutton incision was still a little sore. I just chalked it up to that nasty tape that had been pulling on my skin, but unfortunately the pain didn't go away and, in fact, got a little bit worse every day. At first it just hurt to wear pants with a tight waistband. Then it hurt to sit up and have it "bend" a little. Then on Thursday I couldn't sleep and when I got up in the morning the whole area was red, swollen and hot and I had to face the fact that something wasn't normal. It was time to call the doctor.
Friday was like a nightmare. I couldn't walk upright, sit, or bend. I spent the day waiting for a return call from the doctor and I even contemplated taking the Loratab that I DETEST, which is really saying something considering right after surgery all I needed was ibuprofen. Finally I got the call and the antibiotics were on the way. The doctor said it would take a good four days before I really started feeling better, and finally I am, but it's been a long four days (and it still hurts--just not like it did) And now back to my original point...
A really awesome neighbor found out about my problem and showed up on Saturday night with treats for me. It was such a nice thing and it made me so grateful to live where I live and know such terrific people. But it also made me feel a little guilty because I want to be more like that....
If I get a call from the Relief Society, or a sheet gets passed around for dinners to be taken to people, I am willing to help. But for some reason I'm just not on the ball enough to get out there and just DO IT.... kind of like Visiting Teaching. I don't dislike Visiting Teaching...actually it can be fun...I just don't take the initiative. Is there a secret to being one of these charitable people that just get the light bulb above their head that spurs them to action? I want a light bulb too. If anyone knows the secret, please share!
I guess it's time for some goal setting...They say practice makes perfect, so I guess I need to actively look for opportunities to practice...and maybe I'll take my kids along so they can have a light bulb too.
Wendy, you are so funny! I can totally relate though! :) I wish you had said something about being miserable! No one can help you if no one knows you need it. :) Don't ever feel pressured into going visiting teaching...I think just being a friend is the key there. You're good at that, so cut yourself some slack, would ya?
ReplyDeleteI think you had your light bulb moment. You just have to make it a point daily to say "who can I serve" you can call your RS pres and ask if there is a need, you can assess your children and see if someone there has a need as well, or you can contemplate those you know and think about who might need a pick me up. Approach this coupled with prayer and you will know who to serve. When we lived in colorado I looked out my window one sunny summer morning and saw my good friend mowing my lawn. I was perfectly capable of doing so but there she was, just because. That experience will NEVER leave me. It was so awesome to experience that. Our Bishop in Maine was one of the most charitable people I know. He always knew of people who needed and what he could not provide on his own, he would find someone who could. I feel those urges too, to be more compassionate, to go above and beyond and to serve more frequently and with greater love. But it is just one more step on our journey. Thanks for sharing your insights.
ReplyDeleteI hope, too, that you are feeling better. I had a gangrenous infection after my appendix had been removed and was back in the hospital for a week. It was horrible. Keep an eye on that. Im glad the antibiotics are working!! :)