I detest Mother's Day. I think it is the most ridiculous, idiotic, Hallmark-invented load of crap ever. (And now, let me tell you how I REALLY feel...) For the last 4-5 years I have been threatening to boycott this stupid holiday altogether, and although I haven't done it yet, the threat still stands...This year might just be the breaking point. But don't let my attitude reflect on how my husband and children treat me on mother's day...they do okay.
Every year I go through the same crap. I start dreading Mother's Day about two weeks before it actually arrives because I know it's always going to be the same. Why? Because everyone has a mother...or IS a mother...and everyone, including me, thinks they are entitled to some royal treatment and when it doesn't go down that way we all end up pissed.
Every year we have the my mother/your mother disagreement...which I am not sure why we have. Since Patrick's mom has moved here from Texas, if she is in town, she usually goes with us to my parents' house...she's always invited and welcome and I think she has a good time. I mean...it's Mother's Day...so really there should be time to see both mothers if they are close by. NEVER ONCE have I said "I'm sorry this year we are not going to do anything with your mother..." Yet every year I get treated as though I have said that. Not sure why. I like Patrick's mom. I'm glad she is willing and able to go with us because I would hate for her to sit home alone on Mother's Day. Maybe I feel this way in my subconscious and have been talking in my sleep and I just don't know it...it's a mystery.
The other disagreement we have every year is the "but why can't we just stay home and I'll do something nice for you" argument. Patrick doesn't want to go to my parents' house. This is mostly because he hates loading and hauling Braden and all his stuff... I appreciate his desire to do something nice and "different" for me...But I have a mother to visit.
So now I am in the doghouse either way. If I force Patrick to go with me to my parents' he will be mad at me. If I don't go, my mom will feel bad. I can't win. And I AM A MOTHER TOO...Happy Mother's Day to me!
So here is the other major reason why I hate Mother's Day...
I think it's a bunch of made up crap to get everyone to go spend money on stuff no one really needs in order to PROVE you love someone. Can't you prove you love them by treating them with respect? And shouldn't we do that more than just one day a year? I, personally, would feel honored and respected if my kids would just pick up their dirty socks and go to bed when I tell them to. I don't need a card to tell me "thanks for picking up my socks"...I'd rather they just did it themselves and saved us both the trouble.
And once again, if you don't go out and buy said nice gift, lovely overpriced card, or some other token of love then you're in deep doo doo. And, as the mother, if you don't GET a nice gift, an overpriced card or some other token of love then you're angry. Nobody wins. The whole thing is stupid.
And let's go back to the fact that I expect to get what I "deserve". I really ought to rethink that...because I might not like what I REALLY deserve. Lucky for me, Hallmark doesn't make cards that say things like "thanks for skipping my band concert...now I need therapy" or "For all those times you didn't tuck me in bed with a story but instead screamed "GO TO BED" in my face...thanks, mom" or, my all-time favorite, "I appreciate all those times you pretended to listen when I was talking. Thanks for the low self esteem". Maybe Mother's Day just makes me feel a little incompetent. I am SO NOT the mother of the year. Maybe I don't deserve a day.
Whatever it is... the jury's still out on whether or not I'm boycotting this year. If anyone comes looking for me, I might just be hiding under my bed.
Amen, amen and amen. I always feel like a horrible mom on Mother's Day and wish we could just make it go away.
ReplyDeleteAmen Sista! My personal favorite was the year you said, "I hate Mother's Day! It's the one day a year that you do everything you normally do anyways, but you're just mad about it." Or something like that...I may not have the quote exactly right, but I have been re-quoting it ever since! :)
ReplyDeleteI loved this! I feel the same way. It is a no win load of crap holiday. I dread it and hate mothers day morning. However, I have learned that if I lower MY expectations of the holiday it is not nearly as bad. What does that say?? HA! Now, let me ask you this...How do you feel about Fathers Day? I don't mind it because it is not about me. It is hard to have a holiday for mothers because most of us feel inadequate and don't like being put in some spotlight. I am with you..just pick up your socks, your room, do the dishes for me...fold the laundry and clean up the dog poop. It would make my day more fabulous :)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree about hating mother's day! Why does it put me in such a bad mood? Same with my b-day. Yes, I make breakfast every day of the year, yet it ticks me off to make it on mother's day because shouldn't they be doing it for me? On the other hand, it's kind of annoying if they do make me breakfast because odds are it's not going to be that great and the kitchen will get trashed in the process. And who gets to clean it up? You would think it was them, but no. I think I set my expectations way too high....although is hoping for just a little gratitude or a semi-decent gift too high? I think I've finally learned to just buy myself something I really want and tell my hubby and kids that it is their present to me.
ReplyDeleteKristie, I am so with you on the whole birthday thing too. I went into a deep depression on my birthday last year. I finally realized how few people actually cared it was my birthday. For some reason I expected everyone to care. And they pretended to for the first 31 birthdays, but 32...well, that was the cutoff. Lowering my expectations doesn't seem to help. But, neither does buying my own gift or letting everyone know how high my expectations are (for my b-day OR Mother's Day). I have yet to find a good solution. When I complained last year someone suggested a girl's trip on Mother's Day weekend. I think that might be the ONLY solution. But, then we'd all have guilt for ditching our families and our own mothers on Mother's Day...so, maybe it's not a win/win situation. I give up...
ReplyDeleteAlthough on second thought...I think we should try the girls weekend just to see...
ReplyDeleteHere's the pertinent question... what would happen if ALL the mothers decided we don't want to participate anymore? Maybe if we all band together we can end this lame tradition.
ReplyDeleteWendy, I was just thinking, "What if all the mothers didn't show up for church tomorrow?" Wouldn't that be great? Then we wouldn't have to listen to talks about other people's perfect mothers or teach our naughty primary classes and sit with our own naughty children. Do you think they would just cancel church if only men and kids showed up? Actually, if all the mothers didn't show up, then I guess the men and kids wouldn't either...so, there would be no choice but to cancel it. I'm thinkin' it's a win/win! Let's try it and see...who's with me????
ReplyDelete...cause having to get up early, get the kids (AND WORSE...YOURSELF) ready for church is no way to spend Mother's Day! :)
ReplyDeleteWendy I love you! And girls, it's good to know that i'm not alone in my sometimes violent feelings towards Mother's Day. But I will say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ME! I am calling in sick tomorrow. YAY ME! I purposely caught bronchitis so that I could skip church tomorrow ;) You will all have to take notes on the talks and share them with me so I don't miss out on anything ;)
ReplyDeleteP.S. Wendy, Kim, and Kristie...I won't wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but I will say that all three of you are wonderful women and mothers!
So there ;)