Savannah had a field trip today. She brought the note home about a week ago and begged me to go with her. Normally this is hard for me to do because I have Braden to put on the bus and they always leave for field trips before I am able to go, but this time Patrick was able to stay home a little longer and do it for me. So I agreed to go.
As the week went on and I thought about going, I kept remembering all that I had to get done this week in preparation for going out of town and I started feeling overwhelmed. I started to wish I had not committed to go. But then I had one of those eye opening moments when I realized that this would be the last field trip for ANY of my children in Elementary School...and suddenly I was glad I had agreed.
We went to the Hale Theater to see The Three Musketeers. The play was awesome (I absolutely LOVE to go to this type of thing anyway...but it really was well done). Then we went to the park for lunch. I had my camera in my purse and I was going to take pictures, but I realized quickly that Savannah was not going to be keen on me whipping my camera out, so I resisted. (That's just not COOL, ya know...) Now I am home again, and it's all over.
I was thinking back to the very first field trip I ever took with one of my kids. It seems like ages ago...and that's probably because it was...a decade, to be exact. When did my little kids grow up? How did it happen so fast? I almost feel a little panicked because I worry that somewhere along the line I missed SOMETHING...and whatever it is, it's gone for good now. I definitely don't want any more babies...but I sure wish I could get the ones I already had back...
I remember that first field trip with Colby...as he clung to my shirt with an iron fist and when we sat at the picnic table he practically sat in my lap. I don't even remember where we went...just that he was so little, he loved me, and he wouldn't leave my side. Fast forward to today...as we get off the bus at the park and Savannah runs ahead with her friends, stopping briefly to glance back and motion for me to hurry up and I realize I am sitting at the precipice...the day when she doesn't need me anymore. I'm not sure how it got here so fast. I know this is the ultimate goal in raising our kids...teaching them and helping them to be strong so that they CAN go out into the world and find their own way but I'm just not ready to let go.
After we ate our lunch, she took off with her friends and I didn't see her again until it was time to get back on the bus...not so much as a glance my way. She IS a strong, independent, fabulous little girl (and yes, she is STILL little, as unhappy as she is about that) with tons of energy and a zest for life that's actually contagious. But as we got heading back to the school, she realized she was tired and I made a good pillow...and I was reminded that she's still only twelve...and we've still got a long way to go.
And then someday she'll have kids of her own...and she'll realize once again that she needs me.
Love this post. I am having some of the same thoughts (although not so put together). I am not at the end of all my kids but the beginning of the end for my first one. It makes me wonder where the time has gone. It seems like we want them to hurry up and get to the next milestone and then when they are there it went by way too fast.
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