Me and My Magic Hat

My sister and I have a running joke.  I'm not sure it's really all that funny, but we have a good laugh anyway, because it's either that or be perpetually angry. Apparently, I am supposed to have a magic hat....You know, that thing that kids think you pull things out of when they need them and fail to tell you until the last minute (when I am in angry mode, I don't call it a "hat" but for the more sensitive souls that may be reading this, we'll stick with "hat"...The "other" word that I use is usually muttered under my breath as I head to the store to buy whatever I could not produce with magic.)  I am sure there are plenty of kids out there that think their mothers have a magic hat...and it's amazing to realize that after nearly sixteen years, my kids still are not clued in that I do NOT, in fact, have any magical powers.  I know I have told them plenty of times, and I know they've seen the flames shoot out of my eyes as I leave for Walmart at 10 p.m.   Maybe it's time to tattoo the words "plan ahead" on their foreheads (or maybe I need to tattoo it on MY forehead so they see it right at the moment they open their mouth with the words "I need...")  Some of my more recent requests include:

• "Mom, I need a lock for P.E." (Said in the morning 5 minutes before leaving for school)
• "Mom, we're running the mile today and I need new shoe laces" (Again, said 5 minutes before leaving for school)
• "Mom, I need a posterboard." (Said 10 minutes before bedtime)
• "Mom, I need three folders with prongs in three different colors" (Said 10 minutes before MY bedtime)
• "Mom, I need lunch money" (Said on the phone one hour after school has started.)

And my absolute favorite, prize winning request came last night..

"Mom, I need a frog..."

"What do you mean you need a frog?"

"I need a frog for science."

"What kind of frog?"

"I don't know.  A real one.  Mark says we can get a green tree frog at Petsmart for $10."

"When do you need it?"

"Tomorrow."

SERIOUSLY?  I guess I should be glad he actually really did know I would have to go to the store, as evidenced by his knowledge of where to go get one, as opposed to expecting me to pull one out of my "hat".  Who knew that yesterday when I was making my list of things to do I needed to add "go buy an amphibian".  And for the record...frogs aren't cheap.  And apparently you're supposed to feed them. (In Colby's defense, let me add that this was actually his teacher's doing...the assignment was given at the last minute.  Let me also add that I'm glad we got the toad the night before it left for school because it eats live crickets and I'm not so hip on the container of live crickets that were sitting in the kitchen...yuck.)

Now, lest you think I drop everything and run to the store every time my kids make these requests, rest assured that I definitely DO NOT.  My favorite phrase at this moment is "Then I guess you're out of luck, aren't you?"  I don't think I am doing them any favors (and I would be reinforcing this obnoxious behavior) if I drop and run every time they do this. Occasionally I succumb...like with the frog (partly because his lab partners were counting on him to produce a frog today)  You'd think after being told no so many times, they would get the hint...but no. The best that I can hope for is that, one day, they too will have kids that expect them to magically produce each and every item they need at the exact minute that they need it. You know what they say about what goes around....