What is it?

WARNING:  This is a little gross...but I just had to blog about it because I've been laughing about it for four days now.  I think it's funny.  So there.

WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS, YOU MIGHT ASK?

Well, that requires a little bit of a background story...

I have been sick for months....not super sick, but just consistently sick.  Every time it seems like I am finally getting well again, it all starts back over at square one with a runny nose, some sneezing, itchy eyes...and then goes downhill from there.  The fact that it kept coming back made me a little worried that I was having problems with cat allergies (Yes, I am allergic to cats but I have two of them--does this prove my dedication or mean I'm stupid?  Actually, if you avoid the litter box, keep your hands washed and the fur vacuumed up it's possible to be symptom free but that's a story for another day...)

Fear over cat allergies set me on a quest on Saturday to clean up all the fur that might be floating/hiding in the house, wash all the bedding, vacuum all the furniture and yes, bathe the cats (which they just LOVE...let me tell you!).  Actually, bathing the cats is rather fun.  They hate it, but we love it.  They yelp and cry and fight...but we persist and then when they're done we chase them around the bathroom with the blow dryer.  Great cheap entertainment.

Alas, my sickness was really a sickness...but it's nice to have the house so clean anyway.  Plus the cats are super soft and fluffy and all their dandruff is gone, so it was a win/win anyway.   But then on Sunday we found the results of all this cat torture in the form of this foul tube of cat fur that Dusty decided to deposit under the kitchen table.  Even though Dusty coughs that horrible hairball cough sometimes, I have never found an actual hairball from her until now.  I guess this was our payment for what we did to her...maybe it's the fact that she had to lick herself for three solid hours after the bath to try and get rid of that nasty shampoo smell...

So why am I laughing about this disgusting hairball?  Because when we found it on Sunday morning I was wearing a dress and refused to crawl under the table to clean it up.  Three different people offered to do it, yet, low and behold...it's still there even as I type.  Apparently, among my many titles "Hairball cleaner-upper" is one that has been assigned to me, although I did not realize it.  Isn't it bad enough I clean the toilets and wash the underwear?  Do I also have to be the sole cleaner-upper of the cat yack?  Well... this is where I draw the line!  Not gonna do it...

This morning at breakfast two different kids accidentally put their foot on it.  It isn't wet anymore, so it's not as gross as it might have been, but they were pretty grossed out anyway.  So I am laughing.  Maybe I should squirt it with the water bottle and make it wet again so someone can REALLY get surprised when they get the "hairball touch".  Luckily it's not at the end of the table where I sit so I'm safe.  I'm counting the days until someone is disgusted enough to pick it up.  Knowing my luck it will turn into the cheese from "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" and be there for decades... or until company comes over.