Wrestling the Great Satan

I must start by clarifying something:  I am NOT one of those people that think credit card companies are to blame for all the financial stress in the world.  I believe people make their own (sometimes very bad) choices and get themselves in trouble and then want to find someone to blame...usually the bank, the credit card company, etc.  I do, however, think that credit card companies are like Satan... they snare you in with sneaky promises that everything you want can be yours...and happiness is one swipe away.  They promise things like rewards points, frequent flyer miles, gift cards...not to mention all those fabulous free "checks" they are always sending, acting like they're doing you a favor by moving all your balances onto one "convenient payment" and interest free for six whole months!  Alas, in the past I have been sucked in by this Great Satan....but since I've always paid the bill on time I have never reaped their wrath until now...with one silly little error... And let me just tell you how glad I am that we're in the process of getting rid of these torture devices...

When I say I made a silly error, I really do mean SILLY.  Chalk it up to old age and progressively bad eyesight, but last month when I paid the Discover bill I looked at it and saw a 1 where I should have seen a 7.  So I made the payment, on time, but it was short by six whole dollars.  Apparently it's time to send me to the rack!!

I didn't realize this error until yesterday when the new statement came.  I noticed a late charge and was completely flabbergasted... I checked the date the payment was made, everything seemed fine.  Then I noticed the "past due amount" of $6.  I went in search of my last statement and realized my error.  After a quick slap to my own forehead, feeling about as stupid as I could feel, and facing a realization that I am finally going to have to get some reading glasses, I went online and scheduled the next payment, making sure to include that silly little $6 that I forgot last month.  I toyed with calling them and asking if they'd cut me some slack since it's only $6 and it was truly an honest mistake and seeing if they would remove that late fee but I didn't.  Turns out, I didn't need to call them because they were already waiting to pounce...

It started with an email saying it was "desperately important that I contact them".  (Apparently, when I canceled my home phone I sent them into a tailspin.)  I didn't call them. Then, this morning, through the magic of skip tracing, they managed to "find" my cell phone number and call me. And sure enough, they were calling about my "delinquent account" and wanting to get it back on track....all complete with threats to tell the "big bad credit bureau" about what I had done.  I should have asked if he also intended to call my mom and tattle on me.  I'm actually surprised I was able to talk at all, what with my jaw hanging open all over the floor like that.

I won't repeat here the FIRST words to come out of my mouth, because they weren't very nice...but I informed him (also in a not so nice way) that this was probably the most ridiculous call I have EVER received and I couldn't believe they would go to so much effort over a mere $6.  I have had this card and this account for more than 20 YEARS (ironically, I used to work for Discover Card AS a collector--go figure) and I've never, ever, EVER had a late payment.  Quite frankly, I was a little surprised that they would want to stoop to such levels when I've been a good customer for so long.

And if that wasn't bad enough, he wanted me to actually give him all my bank routing information over the phone so he could process the payment "for me" (how nice of them...) and even promised to remove the late fee if I'd do it.  He was obviously under the impression that I've had the word "stupid" tattooed on my forehead recently. Sorry, silly Discover Card people...you're not getting access to my bank account today! So even though I had to tell this poor, ridiculous person that I've scheduled the payment to arrive by the due date next month, and in full, he had to ask me another five times, "just to clarify".  Good grief.

Don't they have enough REALLY delinquent accounts to keep their collectors working overtime?  They really have to waste time and resources over six whole dollars?  What's next... the reaper to wrap me in chains and drag me away...down to hell (A.K.A. the Discover Card building over in Sandy...) where they will have an inquisition and flog me?

Oh, and did I mention that they raised my interest rate over this?  Not on the balance I'm carrying...but on "future purchases".  Good thing there aren't going to be any... Weasles.  Dave Ramsey is right... these people are not my friends.